Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra
How old are you? "I'm forty-nine but my friends all tell me I don't look a day over 32." Is this what you say when someone asks your age? Or do you automatically take off 15 years for good measure.
Oscar Wilde wrote, 'One should never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell you that would tell you anything'.
My mother always said she was 'twenty-one not out'. I remember how delighted I was at about the age of seven, when I discovered her birth date on her driver's licence. To my mother's utter horror, I aired my newfound knowledge around the neighbourhood. She was furious and punished me (quite unjustly - I thought). I heard her telling Dad, "I wouldn't have minded so much if she'd given me a few years either way, but to be accurate is inexcusable".
Although it has been accepted for centuries that women will lie about their age, it is just as common for men to lie too. And even more common for men to delude themselves that they actually look 15 years younger. They are often totally convinced and no matter how much one tries to persuade them otherwise, words fall on deaf ears.
Friends are not always the most reliable source to rely on for a true assessment of how old you look. Well meaning friends are inclined to exaggerate. Which brings to mind the old Arabic proverb: 'Beware of one who flatters unduly. He will also censure unjustly'.
When promoting yourself on line or applying to an introduction agency, do you reveal your genuine age or take off a few years? Many people prefer to deduct a few unwanted years, like past transgressions, often their birth date does not coincide with their supposed age; it just does not add up. Or they overdo it. I have trouble keeping a straight face when sometimes the age discrepancy is too farfetched.
People sever a few years from their age for varying reasons. Some, because they have a preference for younger partners; or they really believe that they look younger than they are and by lying about their age they will actually be younger. Lucille Ball said, 'The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age'.
Famous liars include: Lady Astor who said, "I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two even if that does make my sons illegitimate". And Margaret Thatcher who, at aged fifty-four said, "I'd like to go on being thirty-five f or a long time ". Diane de Poitiers summed it up with: "The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to other women's".
It is said that a liar should have a good memory. If one varies one's age to suit the company one will soon come unstuck. Surprising as it may seem, rarely is anyone ever fooled by 'a little white lie about my age'.
It only makes others wonder what else you lie about. It's a pity because people, who would never lie about anything else, will lie about their age. And still worse, should you lie to a prospective partner, once he or she discovers you are not as young as you stipulate; understandably, they may be disappointed that you are more senior than expected.
Once made aware of the discrepancy, they will think of you as older. Whereas should you have given your true age in the first place, they would have always marveled at your youthfulness.
One of the greatest telltale signs of a person's age is not her knees or his hands but in which decade they were born. Each decade brings a change, and a change of attitude for people born in that decade. Of course, there are people who look younger than they are and have a progressive attitude - an open mind to new ideas, but one can still usually determine in which decade they were born. After all you are as young as you feel after trying to prove it.
The sad cases are the men aged anywhere from 50 to 70 who pin their hopes on 30 year olds. They cannot believe they look their age and firmly believe there are an abundance of 30-year-olds out there, just chomping at the bit to meet them. Occasionally I have tried to match a 30 year-old with a young looking 50-year-old only to be told, "He was a lovely man, but I couldn't imagine waking up with his head on my pillow, It would be like waking up with my grandfather".
They say a man is as old as he feels; a woman is as old as she looks. However to a young woman a middle-aged- man is still an old man.
In my experience at Entre Nous, about one per cent of young women will accept an introduction to a man twenty years older - only with the prerequisite that he is extremely wealthy, a multi -millionaire
Even sadder are women who have beautiful facial features and lithe figures, but are so full of sadness (carrying around a bagful of woes from previous relationships), that they lose their inner glow. Their beauty is wasted, because they have forgotten how to smile, nothing is more aging (for both sexes) than sadness.
Despite Sophie Tucker's remark that, "From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 - to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality ,and from 55 on she needs cash". Rather than cash, by the time a woman is 55, as long as she is financially independent, healthy, and has a happy personality she is well set up right through to old age.
To be financially independent, healthy and have a happy personality are attainable goals for anyone. To know you will be financially secure in your old age is one good reason in itself to be happy; health is something that you can also work hard at controlling; and if you can add other good reasons to be happy, it will not be difficult to maintain youthfulness right through your life.
Next time you lie about your age ask yourself, 'Who am I fooling, myself or others?' If you want to look younger don't lie about it, concentrate on using wisdom that comes with age, to make your life happy, healthy and financially secure.
Remember health and happiness foster beauty; and the joy of the heart makes the face fair. What's important is not the years in your life, but the life in your years. You are only as old as the person you feel.
Rosalind Baker is Principal of ENTRE NOUS, Introduction Service for Professionals, speaker and author of Dial A Woman, Dial A Man and Dial A Personality.
top rated online dating, astrology dating services, free adult sex dating, free dating simulation games, black dating internet, free adult personals, matchmaker, ads dating free video, gay dating tip, south carolina online dating services, catholic christian dating phoenix
No comments:
Post a Comment