How Can I Build Chemistry in My Current Relationship?

A lot of people are under the misconception that chemistry between two people happens automatically.

Chances are real slim to create chemistry with someone when none exists in the first place or there's very little to work with.

The first thing you have to know is what exactly is chemistry.

It can be pretty difficult to find chemistry if you've never had it with a person, but if you have had it with someone you know exactly what chemistry is. The idea that pops into your head or floats into your unconscious is one that makes you feel that the two of you should be together no matter what. It is something that tells you that this feels just right... perhaps you two were meant to be together.

It can begin with the feeling that the two of you feel completely at ease with each other, and that you two have an uncanny physical attraction toward each other. While this attraction might be due to each other's looks, physical looks, in reality it comes down to a mental game. Game is probably the wrong word to use... Let's just say it could be a condition of your mental state.

It could come down to something as simple as each having the same pet peeves, each knowing what the other is going to say before they say it and so on. Having the same beliefs, even the same dreams of what the future will hold for you can be the start of the chemistry you're looking for.

To be honest, before creating chemistry with someone you need to spend time with them and create a relationship of some type with this person. Needless to say this goes beyond the first, second, or even third date and have once you have spent more time together.

Look for a good topic or even something that you both enjoy doing to give you good conversation to start with. Good conversation is the key...if you don't have it, chances are you won't get that chemistry simmering and moving up to a boil. Don't start with politics or religion...yes...it's just like our parents taught us not to speak of these issues outside the circle of good friends. Save those topics until you become better acquainted. You don't need a high-stress point when you just are getting started.

Start with a topic or subject you both can have fun with.

One big thing - if you have a great sense of humor - use it! And, hope the other person has one also. Laughter can break down many walls and help people to bond much more easily. And..keep the humor clean and not obscene, and without prejudice. I guess that's pretty obvious.

One other thing that is obvious: act like yourself. Don't try to be someone you're not. To have true chemistry with someone they have to know the real you. Don't keep all your opinions to yourself. Make it a point to share some of your thoughts and feelings about important issues...these issues may be also be important your partner. It's all up to the way you converse with the person as to whether that elusive chemistry can begin simmering.

Try to plan exciting dates, studies have shown that couples who meet in exciting situations tend to find each other more attractive. This pattern works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we are with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. You can make use of this feeling by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping... a scary movie, take a roller coaster ride, or whatever would get each other's adrenaline boiling.

I'm sure you heard about the tips to increase chemistry with someone by touching your date on the knee or arm early on in the date. Obviously you want to be very careful with doing something like that. Getting physical early on may just end up turning your partner off. Instead of doing that, talk about what physical features you find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the information you get with your date's reply to your advantage.

Relationships and chemistry ago hand-in-hand, although they are mysterious and can be hard to control. You may be able to get the upper hand by being yourself, having a sense of humor and enjoying your date's company.

Everything else should fall into place if the relationship is meant to be taken farther.

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